Why Don’t We Do What We Need to Do?

By Darren Stehle

Why Don't We Do What we Need to Do

Even though we often know what we need to do to get what we want, we very often don’t do what we need to do.

Why is that?

Excuses are as fast and easy as take-out

Well, usually we start with one of many excuses, many of which I have used:

  • I’d rather sleep in today that go to the gym before work. I need it/deserve it.
  • I’ll call back that prospect/client/lead tomorrow. I don’t have the energy/don’t feel like it/have other things on my mind right now.
  • Cake? Oh yum! I can’t say ‘no’ if it’s right in front of me. Besides I had the salad with my burger instead of fries so it’s not that bad, right?

Why do we make so many excuses when we have big goals like,

  • Staying in shape and losing weight by exercising 5 mornings per week;
  • Building our business/serving more clients so that we can create financial freedom, or;
  • Losing weight by eating a healthy diet of lean protein, healthy fats, and smart carbohydrates.

Have you got the answer yet?

There is a more important question to ask than, “Why do we make excuses.” We make excuses as a result of not knowing what we want.

The one question to rule them all is,

“What do you want?”

Take a moment and answer that question, now.

I bet your answer isn’t very satisfying. Most likely it sounds something like this,

  • I need to lose weight.
  • I need to make more money.
  • I want to eat healthier.

These are not the sort of answers that engender a lot of excitement, or jumping up and down with child-like enthusiasm.

To be honest, “What do you want,” is a trick question. It doesn’t help you dig deep enough to uncover your true motivations.

This is the work I do as a Mind-Body Transformation Coach. I ask questions and I listen. Based on what I hear, I ask another question. Not from a list of possible coaching questions that I have as a template sitting on my desk. No, I ask thoughtful questions based on what you tell me in the moment. I ask questions to keep you moving along the path to answering, “What do you want”, with absolute (or near absolute) clarity.

“What do you want” needs a wing-man. “What do you want” needs a WHY.

Why? Why? Why?

Ask yourself,

  • Why do I need to lose weight?
  • Why do I need to make more money
  • Why do I want to eat healthy?

Sop reading and answer one of the questions above, or your own burning question.

I’ve heard clients come up with responses like,

  • I want to fit into clothes I have in my closet that I love that are two sizes too small.
  • I’m tired of living in debt and not being able to go on vacation.
  • I’m afraid of following in my parent’s footsteps and wind up with diabetes.

Ah, yes, NOW we are getting somewhere! Can you FEEL the difference in those answers? Can you feel the power, the energy, the fear, and/or the desire for change?

Is that it? Is that enough? No.

Keep asking Why until you KNOW

Ask WHY again.

  • Why do I want to fit into clothes I have in my closet that are two sizes too small.
  • Why am I tired of living in debt and not being able to go on vacation.
  • Why am I afraid of following in my parent’s footsteps and wind up with diabetes.

This next round of answers starts to peel back more of the proverbial onion. We are getting closer to the core answer, the core WHY that will motivate you to make choices that serve you.

When you know your WHY, willpower and motivation are often unnecessary when faced with opportunities to give in or quit.

Some hypothetical answers,

  • I want to be a role model for my children. If they see that I can’t take care of my health and weight, what message am I sending to them?
  • I want to feel good enough and believe that I can create something that will serve the greater good and bring me personal growth and satisfaction.
  • I am on a very slippery slope being pre-diabetic. I don’t want to be hospitalized or die in the next 10 years like my parents did.

Will more meaningful, existential answers like the above motivate you to do the things you know you need to do?

Most likely, yes.

Will you need help to get there and to stay committed to doing the things you need to do?

Quite possibly, yes.

“I” can be a lonely thing if you now know WHY you want to succeed, but you’re lacking the skills and resources.

Doing things with and for other people is what makes us better human beings. We live together. We eat together. We share together. We work as a tribe to create positive change and transformation in the world.

Let’s book time together and have a conversation. Click here to answer a few questions so we can talk about how you can transform your well-being once and for all.

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Be well

Darren